I’m looking for role models. The first I’ve come across is Sir Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister from 1939-1945 and 1951-1955.

Winston Churchill was convinced of his own greatness from a young age, but the more full of himself he got, the more things went awry. A member of the British Cabinet in the First World War, he was the architect of the disastrous Gallipoli campaign, a crazy idea wherein the Allies (largely Australians and New Zealanders, who remain pissed off to this day), would drive to Germany through the 'soft underbelly' of Turkey. They never got past the beach.

After the war, he switched parties, unable to decide which ‘team’ was the best vehicle for his talent. He failed to grasp the changing social fabric in Britain, belligerently endorsing the crushing of the British coal miners’ strike in 1926, earning him the hatred of the British working class. By the 1930s, he was on the outside, scorned and mistrusted by all but a few devotees.

So there he was, in the political wilderness, looking back on his own indecisiveness, fucked up opportunities, and pondering the end of his political career.

But he persevered. And his hour came round at last in 1940, when he was able to assume the Prime Ministership, partly because everone's first choice for the job (a highbrow called Lord Halifax) turned it down. He was almost seventy years old.

LESSON ONE - Hang in there.

Once leader, Churchill looked for victories, and his military leaders began creating them almost out of nothing. Squads of commandos (many Canadians among them) attacked German positions from Norway to the South of France; Air raids were launched on German targets in the face of huge Luftwaffe air superiority. Finally, in 1941, he poured troops into Egypt in order to reverse the German advance across North Africa, managing, at great cost, to stop the Afrika Korps at El Alamein. It was a long way from the action in Europe, but it was a solid victory in a large battle, and was instantly adopted as a turning point.

His greatest personal contribution was that he was positive. He never allowed himself or his people to believe that failure was a possibility.

LESSON TWO: take your victories where you can get them. No victory is too small, as each one creates momentum.

He was humble enough to recognize that he needed allies. He did what he could to get the U.S. into the war. He put aside his hatred of Communism to work with Stalin. He soothingly cultivated Charles de Gaulle as a leader of 'Free France,' in spite of the fact that everone else hated the Frenchman's guts. Churchill conceded that that De Gaulle was the best and fairest choice to symbolize France's liberation; another leader might have presented himself in that role.

The same thing applied on the home front. He brought prominent opposition politicians into his cabinet. He kept Parliament running throughout the war, and allowed criticsm of his own management of the war to be voiced. He restricted civil liberties as little as possible.

LESSON THREE: Look for your allies where you can, and don't be too much of a prick, or too much of a perfectionist. Don't be so vain as to think you're never going to have to compromise. Accept that compromise, when properly applied, can result in great victory.





With that done, the rest started to take care of itself.

Regret gets into your bloodstream like alchohol, but it doesn’t wear off. Instead it seems to grow exponentially. After a while it’s like you don’t have blood in your veins anymore, just a bitter, red bile. It makes you miserable and second guessingly-indecisive, both of which simply re-inforce its effect; the more miserable and indecisive you are, the less likely you will be able to overcome the source of your regret.

A couple of weeks ago I found time to sew two buttons onto a favorite shirt of mine. A big deal to me, as I am notoriously lacking in domestic skills. But it got me thinking....where did I come across buttons recently?

Then I recalled it was at work. A couple of co-workers were commenting on H.R. Pufnstuf. One made fun of the other because of her lack of Pufnstuff knowledge. Trying to be helpful, I did some research, and came up with the following:

“H.R. Pufnstuf began when young English boy Jimmy, out playing his flute Freddie, was beckoned out to sea in a colourful boat bound for Living Island. As it drifted toward the island, the boat turned out to be a trap set by the evil Witchiepoo, who wanted to add Freddie to her collection of magical belongings.

“Jimmy narrowly escaped his fate by jumping overboard, only to wash up on the beach of an enchanted isle, unconscious. The boy was promptly rescued by the local mayor, H.R. Pufnstuf, a giant orange and green cowboy/dragon. Jimmy and Freddie the Flute found themselves stranded on Living Island, where everything was alive with its own personality: books, candles, and mushrooms all talked, some houses had hay fever, and money was measured in buttons.

‘”Alarm, alarm, Witchiepoo is coming, Witchiepoo is coming!’

“Each week, the evil Witchiepoo, along with her henchmen--vulture Orson, hapless orange spider Seymour, and the aptly named Stupid Bat--would hatch a plan to steal Freddie from Jimmy and keep them both trapped on Living Island.

“Other memorable characters included Pufnstuf's deputies Cling and Clang, sister Shirley Pufnstuf, Lady Boyd, Judy Frog, and Ludicrous Lion (‘Buttons, buttons, who's got the buttons?’).”

Yeah, that’s why I was thinking about buttons. But what I really liked about this Pufnstuf precis was the idea of a character called 'Stupid Bat.'

And I got to thinking, a certain amount of stupidity can be a real asset. It’s like when you are inoculated, you are given a bit of the disease. A bit of stupidity in your system may taint your blood, but it also leaves you less psychologically vulnerable; you aren’t as plagued by the paralyzing reflection and over-consideration that often comes with intellect.

In short, you don’t think too much.

The problem is, simple-mindedness is a tough skill to learn.